its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
