he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
