Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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