Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
