What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
