So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
