I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Let's paint friendship bongs
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
