she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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