Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
