try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
