the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
