Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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