Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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