just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
