Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
