I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
