so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
