Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
