We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
