I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
