after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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