Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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