What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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