dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
