So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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