The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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