you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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