in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
