and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
