i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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