God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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