it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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