Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
