All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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