i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
