I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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