I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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