Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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