Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
