Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
