He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
