You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
