its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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