I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm getting married
To pizza
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
