you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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