"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
