Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
