rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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