Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
