apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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