I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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