You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
