No, you can still breathe under the balls.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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