You're completely useless in the revolution.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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