matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
