i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
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