names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
only you would photoshop your dick
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
